I see this meme from my single (and even some non-single, but also non-married) friends almost every week: “everyone is out there getting married and having babies and I’m just here like who wants to day-drink with me?”. Shame. I mean, I have plenty people to day-drink with, but I feel that if you have a husband you kinda automatically have that person. So, good for them. And bad on you for making them feel like they aren’t as cool as you just because they’re married. They are so cool that someone wants to spend the rest of their life with them.
Onto the babies. There’s a list of benefits of children in my head, I’m not completely against the thought of having a tiny me running around bossing people around with her hand on her hips or throwing mud pies at the wall and getting his dungarees dirty as a concept, but when a friend has a kid I’m automatically jealous of the older years. I’ve been trying to get Liam, one of my closest friend’s kids to pour me the perfect G&T for the longest time. That would be the best. To have my own perfectly poured G&T brought to me while I’m in the pool. Number one reason I would have a kid? That’s it.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves and pretend that I’m not loving being single. And let me be completely honest here and say that the main reason I love being single is because I’m a whore. I don’t have one particular man in my life, one I want to rush to the alter with and spend the rest of my day-drinking days with, but I have many. They all fulfil a facet of my life, and I’m sure there is someone out there who has it all, but I just haven’t met him yet (*cough* Michael Bublé).
My yes man, and all around number one bae, actually began as Partner in Crime number THREE on St Helena and has quickly progressed to Partner in Crime number ONE in the real world. I can (almost always) rely on him to be down for a hike, a scuba dive, to jump off a mountain, to grab a cold alcoholic beverage, to go to the movies, to play PlayStation all day. There are twitterings from my nearest and dearest of this ‘friends without benefits’ situation not being ‘healthy’, but tevs.
My gay bae who will happily party til 6 AM like we’re 22 and then complain about life for the whole of the next day (or keep drinking), Guinness book record SnapChat streak, who has been a part of every relationship fluttering, serious decision and heart-breaking breakup since 2015. Who has saved me from many a dodgy man by swooping in and saving me. Who is always there when I am down, to be a shoulder to cry on and knows my heart and it’s soft spots because I know he will never break it.
My new house husband who brings in the washing, who cooks for me on occasion, who makes me ginger and lemon tea when I am sick and who can pour wine like the best and stay up chatting about boys and why they’re poef.
I have recently cancelled a couple of subscriptions to ‘sociopaths ‘r us’ (one which was three years long, wtf was I thinking?!). I found that I have everything I need in life right now. From different sources (and, there are still the other, corporeal, sources as well), sure, but I think it’s better than hanging on to someone who is only partly compatible (or, alternatively, completely cray). And I think everyone knows where they stand in the grand scheme of things.
So, sure, I’m not desperately hurrying to get married or have babies, and I still love my day-drinking, with any one of my sources, but I actually have recently learned to appreciate that other side of life and all the good things it offers. Let’s stop poo-pooing marriage and children like that’s not what a fair amount of us secretly want.
For now, though, I’ll stick to my boys, all working as one happy little machine, making me happy, and, well, that’s been a long time coming.
Open a Tab, Barman! 